I AM

I AM

The other day I was watching “The Prince of Egypt”. It was that animated movie about Moses and the 10 commandments. One of my favorite parts of that story is when Moses asks God his name. He simply states “ I AM”?? Well that solves and answers to a ton of questions doesn’t it? I Am? Is that the best we could do? I am sure that this story lost some of its authenticity throughout the years. “I AM”, was probably Andy or something that lost a couple of letters along the way. Regardless, “I AM” has been a staple in our English language that has never really lost its power.

At the university of Kansas the fight song is entitled “I’m a Jayhawk” I have probably listened, played, and directed this song 10,000 times in my extended stay in Lawrence. The title says it all. I Am A Jayhawk!! Shortened, but still exclaims the pride one feels in associating themselves with the school, mascot, and culture of Kansas University. Ask any Kansas student to sing the school’s alma mater and rock chalk chant and you will understand a whole new meaning of passion.

So what am I? I thought about this question today. I AM _______ Blank? So many words can fill that space. I am what? What is it that encompasses all of me in a single phrase? It was so much easier to sing along and not think about the words of our fight song. What are we? Who are we? I would love for someone to say Oliver, you are Christ. Oliver you are Love. You are Peace. You are Understanding. You are Patients. But I am not these things all the time. I am also Anger….at times. I am hate…when stuck in traffic. I am selfish. I am wrath. I am sloth. I am an asshole. Fortunately not all the time am I these lesser qualities, but they all still exist within me along with the good.

I am Oliver. The original, the unpredictable, the unprecedented. I am 31 flavors of life and then some. It is one of those things that I am come to grips with and embraced. I am throwing 7 kinds of smoke these days and loving each drop that life has to offer!! Through this I have learned the things about myself that I do not want to be. I am working on those. Replacing the bad flavors with the good is our true calling. I am a work in progress for sure.

Understanding that God encompasses all acts of life sheds some light on the “I AM” ness of that statement. Something that magnificent could never be summed up in one world. God’s power is boundless; words could never do him justice.

A candle in the wind

A single candle sits in my room. It is a bright red candle that was a move in gift from a friend. From time to time I light this candle to counter the stale smells that can linger from earlier cooked food. The sweet smells are soothing after a stressful day. I know this sounds quite feminine, but it is the truth.

As I came out the shower tonight, the previously lit candle had filled my room with a mixture of strawberries and cream aroma that are about to put me right to bed. I turned of the light and stared at the candle as it illuminated my room. The red glow of the candles wall serves as a mini night-light. As much as I would want to sleep with it burning, I have seen one too many videos on what happens. So I just looked into the flame for a little while and reminisced.

Fire can be so basic as it can also be so destructive. It is one of the most basic elements we need to survive. If I were ever on a desert island my first instinct would be to create fire. I don’t think my boy scout skills are were they used to be, but I think I could manage.

Fire can also be passion. I often think about some of the most romantic nights of my life involved candle burning?? I don’t know why, but for some reason it always seemed to heighten the mood of the carnal pleasure that later ensued. A candle light dinner is still the first page in the book of romance? All this from a simple combustion of elements in a small space of air? Comical at best how this happens.

Unfortunately, what fire can create it can also take away. A few firefighters lost their lives today trying to keep others from these same passionate flames. Irony at its best. How can one item manifest itself in so many ways? The ability to sustain life and destroy it without itself changing. In San Francisco, one of the city’s trademark landmarks is Coit Tower. This pillar stands on the pinnacle of a hill in the north beach district and is a San Fran must see. The tower itself is a tribute to the firefighters who saved the city from fire at the turn of the century. The top of the tower is shaped like a fire hose. It is a interesting sight for a city that is full of quirks.

No real point to this blog, just a few random thoughts that came to me as I was getting ready to blow out my candle. I guess my next blog should be about water and wind!!