Losing My Identity
What defines you? Is it your actions? Things you say? Places you’ve been? What makes you unique in all that you do? Today I had a part of me ripped away; I lost part of my identity.
This may sound crazy, but I have recently been bumming about leaving the west coast. Growing up in Florida I never imagined that I would live in California never the less San Francisco of all places, I was just a little too conservative. After my time at KU, checking out to the left coast seemed much more appealing than a drive back home to Florida, California here I came. I spent almost 3 years in California. Looking back on it, I am sure that they will be some of the best years of my life. I met so many different kinds of people and really opened up my eyes to life in a way I never thought possible. Living in the Bay Area gave me so much of an education in humanities further than any text book could. It is truly amazing how so many different people can interact on one geographical area. In the end, San Francisco became my friend in every sense of the word. Loyal, interesting, and charismatic are a few words that double as a description of the city and a great pal. I would often enjoy my free days in the city just wandering around by myself discovering it’s endless quirks. SF is a place like no other in the world.
I recently took my real estate exam. As apart of the licensing process, one must obtain a Florida drivers license. As I scheduled my DMV appointment, it was going to require something of me I was trying to avoid. I had to surrender my California driver’s license that I had possessed for a little over two years. I was not happy about this at all. Before my appointment today, I tried to conjure up different stories that would enable to retain a little piece of California I had carried around in my wallet for the past 7 months. I am not a very good liar, which ultimately meant I had to face the inevitable: I was going to lose my identity and there was no going back.
As I approached the counter I felt like a martyr walking to the gallows. I knew that these were the last moments I would be able to whip out that funny looking license and draw the attention of all Fl natives who observed it. I was assimilating into the Floridian culture much to my dismay. Gone now are the trips to Fisherman’s Wharf and Marina district. Gone are the drives up the Pacific Coast Highway and across the Golden Gate Bridge. No longer shall I taste the wine squeezed from grapes I had become all too familiar with. In a final plea I begged with the worker for me to retain the ID, but she would not budge. She quickly confiscated the contra band ID and sliced it in two pieces with the precision of a guillotine blade. And just like that it was over. Three years of my life cut in half and discarded forever.
As I received my new ID, I quickly put it in my wallet. I knew that it would not fill the recent void in the same way its’ predecessor had. Slowly but surely I am sure I will begin to welcome this newfound identity and embrace its ways. It is hard for me to believe that it was just 10 yrs ago that I left this very same address, my life has changed so much since then.
Now is the time for new beginnings and adventures. I will have to find new streets to call my friends’ and replace wine grapes with fresh squeezed Orange Juice…I guess it is healthier for you anyway!!
This may sound crazy, but I have recently been bumming about leaving the west coast. Growing up in Florida I never imagined that I would live in California never the less San Francisco of all places, I was just a little too conservative. After my time at KU, checking out to the left coast seemed much more appealing than a drive back home to Florida, California here I came. I spent almost 3 years in California. Looking back on it, I am sure that they will be some of the best years of my life. I met so many different kinds of people and really opened up my eyes to life in a way I never thought possible. Living in the Bay Area gave me so much of an education in humanities further than any text book could. It is truly amazing how so many different people can interact on one geographical area. In the end, San Francisco became my friend in every sense of the word. Loyal, interesting, and charismatic are a few words that double as a description of the city and a great pal. I would often enjoy my free days in the city just wandering around by myself discovering it’s endless quirks. SF is a place like no other in the world.
I recently took my real estate exam. As apart of the licensing process, one must obtain a Florida drivers license. As I scheduled my DMV appointment, it was going to require something of me I was trying to avoid. I had to surrender my California driver’s license that I had possessed for a little over two years. I was not happy about this at all. Before my appointment today, I tried to conjure up different stories that would enable to retain a little piece of California I had carried around in my wallet for the past 7 months. I am not a very good liar, which ultimately meant I had to face the inevitable: I was going to lose my identity and there was no going back.
As I approached the counter I felt like a martyr walking to the gallows. I knew that these were the last moments I would be able to whip out that funny looking license and draw the attention of all Fl natives who observed it. I was assimilating into the Floridian culture much to my dismay. Gone now are the trips to Fisherman’s Wharf and Marina district. Gone are the drives up the Pacific Coast Highway and across the Golden Gate Bridge. No longer shall I taste the wine squeezed from grapes I had become all too familiar with. In a final plea I begged with the worker for me to retain the ID, but she would not budge. She quickly confiscated the contra band ID and sliced it in two pieces with the precision of a guillotine blade. And just like that it was over. Three years of my life cut in half and discarded forever.
As I received my new ID, I quickly put it in my wallet. I knew that it would not fill the recent void in the same way its’ predecessor had. Slowly but surely I am sure I will begin to welcome this newfound identity and embrace its ways. It is hard for me to believe that it was just 10 yrs ago that I left this very same address, my life has changed so much since then.
Now is the time for new beginnings and adventures. I will have to find new streets to call my friends’ and replace wine grapes with fresh squeezed Orange Juice…I guess it is healthier for you anyway!!
posted by O King at
12:46 AM
2 Comments:
Poor O! You should go back and visit sometime- have a proper goodbye. It's scary when you realize that you are no longer part of a place, but then it also is easier to let it go and stop dreaming.
-L
Hey O , I have always said that different parts of America, are practically like different countries, and the east and west coast vibe could not be more different, and as for Texas, that seems a country all on it's own from what I remember! I think living in all these different places is helping shape you into a well rounded human being (and I don't mean fat!) I think you need to push the boundaries even further and explore the possibility of living in Europe for a period of time, that is just a whole other realm, and as I am sure Junior can testify it really is an education ..
I would trade places with you in a heartbeat, I am up for living in the US, the land of 24 hour Walmart, cheap SUVs' and the Cheescake factory chain!
Enjoy that FL vibe
A
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